And it is perfectly obvious that Labour Stands for the principle of sharing, kindness, gays, single mothers and Nelson Mandela

Poor Bridget. Two months in, blissfully happy - and then she discovers that Mark Darcy is a Tory. "How???" she (and we)cries. How can her human rights lawyer boyfriend be one of them, because, as she sagely points out. Everyone votes labour. Except as last month so depressingly shows, everyone doesn't.
Who is a Tory? And Why? There are the obvious types, the County lot sitting at Wimbledon this week, drinking Pimms, and looking forward to some regatta or the other (what exactly is a regatta? Is it boats?). They look like Tim Henman and just like that plucky Brit don't consider golfing all day a waste of time. Many people with money also vote Blue because they hope it will help them hold onto more of their money (until they go on secret millionaire to publicly and philanthropically help the deserving poor).
But there aren't enough of them to turn my county map blue surely?
Well, rural types are naturally Conservative and conservative (in my youth a Young Farmer refuse to buy me a pint because "girls don't drink pints". I bought my own. I bet he votes Tory). And then there are the rest. the ones who want a change, who think "surely they can't be worse|" (ha ha ha that'll teach you), those who read the right wing press and believe every scare story and piece of vitriol they print.
An old boss thought that Thatcher "was the best thing that ever happened to this country!". Naively, like Bridget, I thought that one thing this country did agree on was that Thatcher was A Bad Thing. But he was an object lesson in the perils of privatisation. A DT teacher who was in the right place at the right time and spouted the right jargon to switch to the first privatised pieces of education and, honing those all important skills of saying the right thing at the right time, being overbearing and self-important he rose swiftly through the ranks despite actually doing very little indeed.
In the lead up to the election several friends publicly wondered if they might see how Cameron did because "we need a change" Yes, many of them read the Times (vile Murdoch propaganda) but their willingness to make such a fundamental change to the way the country is run with no real knowledge of issues, policies or consequences was scary.
I did a Sky News test online. I have to admit I was tad worried it would default me automatically to being a Tory or even worse I might unknowingly be one! What if, in a blind test, I was a raving conservative? Luckily I chose Labour for every single policy except health (Lib Dem, ha ha ha). It was a massive relief! Maybe we should all have done such a test before we were allowed to set foot in a voting booth so we could at least have checked that our head and our hearts were working together.